Dear reader,
I’m still not sure what freedom from pain tastes like. Maybe I’ve not experienced that wholesome freedom yet. Maybe the one I feel is just an illusion of a next catastrophe, like a calm wind before the devastating storm. But at this moment, I like the silent whisper of this wind rustling behind my ear. Without worrying about what uncertainties it will bring, I closed my eyes and smiled at what I have in this present moment. So what do I exactly have? If someone would make a list, there wouldn’t be a lot of things to fill the bucket. Although unlike before, today I have one thing which I never had — Optimism. I don’t remember using this word ever in any of my writings before. I know it’s not happiness or a feeling of peace, something which I’ve been seeking for months. It’s more like a ringing in my head which says that —
“I know your house is old and fragile, and if this cold, soothing wind brings a devastating storm, it will certainly collapse. I also know if the dampness in the air brings flood, you will again get stuck in a small corner of your room. You are not a swimmer and there aren’t any lifeboats around. But yet, I believe that despite such hurdles, you are going to survive it. Maybe the storm will also have something to say. So why not just stay on the roof and hear what this pleasant wind wants to say, and see what these twinkling stars want to show!”
The journey from broken to optimistic was a long one, and I believe there are still miles to go before I peacefully sleep under the moon’s shade. But I can see a path where I am treading gently towards a place from where the past would look like a life experience with some happy and some sad events. I think every beautiful valley was once a barren land and sometimes there is nothing the barren land can do except to wait for the seasons to change. I guess my heart has finally started to understand this.
I won’t overstate the feeling by writing too many positive words here, so today I’m going to end this here with a quote from the book I’m currently reading.
I’d highly recommend this book. It’s a very small to-the-point book where the author has written his own experience of being in Auschwitz — the largest Nazi concentration camp.
If you’d like to support me, you can purchase the book from this link, buy me a coffee or drop a honest feedback in the comments or via a reply to this email.
Thanks for reading!
Wish you pleasant dreams and restful sleep :)